A Tragic Mess of Love and Friendship Part Two: Pandora's Box (finished)

A Pandora’s Box

                Soft minor guitar chords laced with heartbroken lyrics filtered through the black boom box on his floor. Aaron held a shoe box in his hands; it was covered in strips of blue and silver dotted with stickers of bands. On the lid was a photo, a picture captured of them smiling and laughing sitting on her car when it was new. His hands trembled as he traced her name in loopy hand writing below the picture. Hand writing he’d never see on anything else again. Aaron knew if he opened the box he would be acknowledging he couldn’t save her; that he didn’t have her anymore. ‘I didn’t do enough; I could have kept her here. Helped her stay alive, refused to open this goodbye.’ He thought as another tear slowly slid down his face. He pushed his pale blonde hair out of his dark eyes and opened the box.

                On top was a letter addressed to him; identical to so many notes she had passed to him over the years. With the care of a young man losing his love, he unfolded the light blue paper. It took him several minutes before he could force his eyes to bring the words into focus.

                Dearest Aaron,

I am truly sorry for putting you through everything these past few months. If I could take it back I would. I can’t face myself any more. And I’m sorry. For your sake, I wish I could share the memories you will make this year with you. But, this life was not meant for me. I hope you finally find everything you need and could ever dream of. You were the reason I made it this far. Thank you for everything. I am sorry.

                                                            Always,           

                                                The girl who fell                    

P.S. Don’t you dare blame yourself. You were the best friend a girl could have had. I love you in more ways than you know.

                Aaron wiped tears from his eyes as he read her confession; a confession that he had longed for months. He cursed aloud. Only after taking an achingly deep breath, he could return his attention back to the contents of the box. The next item was a stack of pictures: ever so slowly he flipped through them. Snapshots from their prom, of their small group of friends, from lunch at school, from trips to the lake, and from the last few years stared back at him. The last photograph was one of his favorites. It was one he had taken of her after school, she was staring off the wind blowing her dark hair around her face as she sat on the hood of her car. Aaron had his own copy that he had never told her of. Under the pictures was the pins and patches of her book bag, it had taken her years to collect them. Her journal, that she had carried clutched to her chest, was next. Aaron had spent countless hours watching her draw or write in it. Carefully as if it might have crumpled to dust in his fingers, he lifted the journal and placed it on his guitar amp. On the very bottom of the box was a dried daisy with the length of ribbon she had worn to prom tied to it. The ribbon had a few words written in permanent marker.

                                Yes, I kept the daisy.                                    

                Aaron calmly walked down his hall to his bathroom and locked the door. He toed out of his shoes and placed his phone on the floor with quick measured movements. He didn’t bother with his black jeans, his rock t-shirt, or even socks. He just slowly stepped into the tub and turned on the shower full blast to mask his sobs. Shaking he sunk to the floor, forgetting to adjust or check the temperature of the spray. He wasn’t feeling it much anyway. He hugged his knees and rocked back and forth. Grief finally took over wrung every sob from his body that was possible. The icy water soaked through his dark clothes causing him to shiver. He closed his eyes and prayed for the first time since he was a child, ‘I don’t know who is up there. But, I know there is a higher power and I beg you. If she hasn’t already gone please don’t let her. Please I love her. I never told her. Please. I need her. Don’t take her. Don’t take her. Don’t take her. Please don’t take her.’

After what was as exhausting as hours of physical labor, Aaron turned off the water. Numbly he wiped the tears from his face. A smear of deep red colored his hand and he realized his nose was bleeding. Used to high emotions causing nose bleeds, he went through the motions of trying to fix it still sitting in his tub. The flow of blood slowed and he closed his eyes and memories played through his head of recent late night talks in the dark. Aaron remembered the fear that had been almost crippling she fought every day the last three months. He had tried to help her to be whatever and only what she needed. Another tear made it’s way down his cheek as he imagined his phone playing ‘Good Enough’ by Evanescence, her ringtone.

A Tragic Mess of Love and Friendship - Part one: Red light Green Light (revised)

Red Light Green Light

At the last traffic light on the edge of a small city, a beat up and rusted once bright blue Mustang slows to a stop with a crying young girl at the wheel. Sirens blared over her music in the distance and seemed mimic all the pain beating through her veins. Amy wiped eyeliner tainted tears from her pale cheeks. At the red light, she pulled her best friend’s pale grey jacket, a goodbye gift, even closer around herself for comfort. She fought the urge to call him and not go through this alone; she fought a fresh round of pain filled tears. She couldn’t ask him to fight her demons. Especially not now, she took a shuddering breath and wondered what it would be like if she could stay with him. ‘Would he have talked me out of it or would he have quietly held my hand like at the clinic last month?’ Questions like these tortured Amy’s thoughts.

The light turns green and Amy slowly puts her car into gear: determined to make it as far as she can on what gas she had. As she made it midway through the intersection, she notices the sirens were a little closer. Suddenly bright lights ignited the inside of her car and what felt like seconds later a deafening crunching screeching sound fills her ears. Someone is screaming and sobbing as she looks out the driver’s side window at the light pole coming right at her. Amy has a slightly detached thought that it might be her voice that’s screaming and crying. Black covers her eyes and pain white hot streaks through her body.

Lights danced around her head as she fought her blue eyes open in what felt like years later to Amy. She was slumped forward and couldn’t find the strength to sit back up. Something was running down her left arm and the side of her face. But, she couldn’t tell if it was blood or water from somewhere above matting her red hair. She managed to make her right hand grasp her cell phone. Pain was slowing her movements to a crawl. Light was still spilling into her cab from the other side, making her head throb. Amy finally managed to open her phone and mash the number six until speed dial took the hint. Groaning, she brought the phone to her ear that wasn’t resting against the steering wheel. Two rings were all it took before he answered, “Amy? Where are you? Have you changed your mind? Do you need me?”

“Car wreck,… I’m s… sorry…. I …. I can’t…… go… any far….ther.”She was having trouble fighting the black while forming words. Everything seemed to be too much effort. Even the air felt like it was weighing down on her skin.

“Are you hurt?” his voice sounded worried and she felt bad. When she didn’t answer, he asked, “Where are you? What do you see? Amy?!”

Amy hadn’t though he would be worried about her, just mad at her, “It’s n…not... s…so ……… b…b bad… You… D…don’t ……. g… give… up. I... L…lo” Then suddenly, squealing tires filled the line.  More thunder followed by a brief instant pain dragging Amy down to float in the cold dark. Her phone fell to the floor with his worried voice rising to try to reach her through the speaker.

[Author's Note- This is a work in progress. Part of an assignment for school. I'll have more up in the next day or so. Feed back would be awesome! Thanks guys! The parts in red were changed or new]

Good Night

Poem from way back when.....

Good-Night

If I never open my eyes,

I want to say Good-Night,

In case this is our final goodbye,

Wishing the end was not in sight.

Know that I’ll ALWAYS love you,

And I’ll forever stay true.

In case morning light you never see,

The sun never again lighting your face,

Say good night just to me,

I pray the Gods will keep you safe.

I know you love me too,

I swear I’ll follow you.

Love Hurts (Short Story)

 (Another short story found within  the files of my laptop. Enjoy.)

She sat stared out the icy window she was leaning on, watching the dark sky light just before rain. Pressing her face to the cold dark glass, she watched the eyes of the reflection staring back. It had been a while since she spent a night with just her reflection to keep her company. The voices living in her head made it hard to get time alone and harder to forget: but she wasn’t thinking about that tonight.

What she was thinking of was how much she should be sleeping. It had been a few weeks since she truly slept well. The bad headaches were starting again, she giggled at the irony that this summer should start like two years ago. Almost, the money was better that summer, sighing she tried to refocus her thoughts, sleep, time to sleep. She forced her body into relaxation, slowly her eyes closed. Her thoughts finally had stopped.

Suddenly, her door jerked open, in a not quite fluid motion she pulled out her hunting knife. “Chill, it’s me.” Lily’s voice sounded almost foreign to her tonight. Lily sat on her bed wearing cloth shorts and a shirt that swallowed her tiny frame. She wondered if Lily was dressed for comfort or to hide her newest weight or cut.

“Heard of knocking? Ever?” she knew she was snapping but this was supposed to be her night. She had actually wanted this alone; she needed it to sort out the mess that she was right now and to sleep.

“I miss you” Lily’s voice was so frail and small she almost was positive she had heard wrong. She blinked, Lily had been the one who left her and refusing to speak to her, she was caught in a whirlwind of being pissed, sad, and concerned. “Can I stay just one night? Please? Alice please? I just want to be here with you just to curl and sleep. Please? Alice…. please” Lily whispered.

Finding her voice, she whispered her eyes shut tight, “No. It would pull me away from my world”. She didn’t breathe again until her door clicked shut. Tears filled her eyes; sometimes doing what is truly best for those you love feels like killing yourself slowly she thought sadly as memories filled her mind, there goes sleeping…..

Untitled and unfinished

(Found hiding in my laptop files. I thought I'd share it.)

          Sliding into an empty park bench, she pulled out her pack of reds. In a fluid motion, she sprawled out and looked as comfy as if she were in her bed at home instead of a central city park at one in the morning. She lit the black lighter smoothly, bringing it up to the cigarette tucked between her lips. She took a deep drag and held it for just a moment enjoying the rich earthy taste and slight burn.

          She took another drag and tried to push the last few weeks from her thoughts. It did no good to dwell in the past. She pushed her dirty blonde hair out of her face. She sighed and watched a little girl play in the sand, her arms ached to hold the little girl she lost

Raine Snapshot #1

She pulled the slightly dusty hope chest out of her closet and unlocked it; inside were several outfits and a few bits of jewelry. Carefully, she picked out a pair of back torn cargo pants and low cut black tank top with sliver glitter. She first slid on fishnet tights and a dark gray lace trimmed camisole first and then layered on the other clothes. After tracing eyeliner around her eyes, she stared at a picture from around a year ago of four teenage girls taped to her bedroom mirror. They stood with arms looped around hips and shoulders, dressed in black and silver laughing. Sadly she tore her eyes from the picture of her past with a sudden wish she could fix the broken pieces that was left of that lost paradise, of what was home.  She pulled on an old pair of scuffed and worn combat boots and locked up her apartment behind her heading towards The Portal.

   As she walked the dirty streets she remembered the day the picture had been taken. It had been the last day of high school, a memory worth saving. So, they had posed, linking arms and laughing about their big plans. They were inseparable, happy, and hope filled. They were going to take on the world and win. If only we had... she thought as the pulsing beat from inside the club filtered through to her skin...